wont | CONTACT | on the tranquility

You would what?

[SORRY. HE COMPLETELY LOST THE POINT OF THIS MESSAGE AND THE ABILITY TO ARTICULATE. And may be turning red. But she can't see that.]

You're a learned man, friend.
You know who I am.

And I know who you are,
though neither of us acknowledge it.

I do not need oaths nor names to know that you would defend me, given the chance.

Well, yeah. Of course I would. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you.

[...In retrospect, maybe he spoke too soon when he said he'd make a lousy champion.]

[ She has a sixth sense for these things. It makes up for overwhelming blindspots elsewhere. ]

As I said:
A champion I would gladly accept.
Though you may worry what others think of you,
know you have earned high estimation from me.
As well as my loyalty.

This is just... so weird. Not a bad weird. It's a good weird. Really. I've just... I mean, I've had friends, but never like this. It's nice. I... Like it. Thank you. It means a lot to me.

[ She laughs at that, her voice bright even though she is alone in the room, save Lady.

There is no need to express thanks for what is freely given.

May I ask what sort of manner is 'this'?

So... formal, I guess. Most people I meet either want nothing to do with me until I force my way into their life or just sorta end up thinking I'm interesting. I've never met anyone who knew this much about me and actually cared enough to stay and hear more.

[And it's true of even the people he's closest to. Ariadne knows very little, Tony even less, even though he's confided in both and trusts them immensely. He never told Kenzi a single thing about the real him, because she was everything he needed in a friend here and he was terrified of losing her (and he did, eventually). Wheatley would never have been his friend had things not radically lined up the way they did, and now he's learned enough to fill a biography, but doesn't care about any of it. Everyone else is a barest touch of superficial- the boy with the bright smile and the pop culture and the weird turns of phrases. He has never given anyone as much as he's given Alayne and gotten back just as much in return. It's not just facts (Wheatley has those in spades- emotional nuance is lost on him), but stories, emotions, the things that you have to spin with pretty words and a hurting heart. The things that make him realize how much he must hate himself.]

[ She sits with his words for a long moment and tries to imagine a clearer picture of the 'good' man named Topher. She tries to imagine him as a child, as an adolescent, as an adult; tries to piece together the strengths and flaws that, when taken in concert, form his imperfect whole. There are facets to him that she does not understand or see — the parts that speak to Wheatley and think him friend enough to speak his cause, the parts that understand science and memory and the mind. In many ways they've gone about friendship all backwards, revealing to one another the deepest parts of themselves while turning their faces in another direction to conceal whatever lies at the very surface. ]

For a long time, I was without friends.
I suffered many things, beneath many hands, and I had not a soul to tell.
Nor a kind hand to comfort me.
Nor an ally of any ilk.
I had to hide who I was in order to keep safe.

To allow a person your true face is a dangerous gift.
But you gave it to me nevertheless, just as I gave you mine.
I would never see such a thing squandered.
It is precious to me.

[ A silence, a pause. Those words hang for a moment. They are close to the truth; too close perhaps. But the game they game has become less a game and more a hook upon which they've hung their respective hearts. Then: ]

Remember this, in the future.
And know that I am true.

[ When you know that I was born Sansa Stark, you will love me less if you forget. ]

[Topher has always been a fan of non-linear. The brain processes things out of order, anyway. The matter of going about things in a certain way is programming and deviation from that norm separates you from the herd. He can't find this odd, because he's never thought or saw the world the way other people do. Not entirely true- he does find this odd, but not the parts where he's opened up and played games with her. He likes playing games- too much, perhaps. What he finds strange is he understands less of her world than she understands his, but he keeps biting his tongue to question it, because that isn't how the game works, so he wildly guesses and speculates. Perhaps now he can ask.]

I understand. And know this, Alayne. [He thinks... He thinks it's okay to call her that now, to reveal he does know her name and she knows his, by this time. The game is over and they are more now.] I may not be the best at not dwelling on what I've done or maybe I spend too much timing wondering what I will do because of it, but the truth is... The ship's given us a fresh start. We're free to be whoever we wanna be and no one has any right to judge that. When it comes down to it, you're the nice girl with the wolf who's never doubted me. That's what matters.

CONTACT | on the tranquility

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